Tourists

Now I guess you could say that I was a tourist. I’m in a country I’m unfamiliar with, I’m not working and I spend a lot of time walking around the City. However, I think I’m superior to many of the tourists I see every day.

I’ll give you an example. A few days ago we were walking back to the apartment and we came across a very large group of tourists who were blocking the road (grrrr). As we passed them (pushed passed them if you want the truth) we discovered that they were taking pictures of a bride who was just about to enter a church. Did these people know the bride? (Who turned up in a Hummer the size of a Limousine – no wonder this country is one of the world’s biggest polluters). No they did not. They were just stupid tourists who thought it would be really cool to have a photograph of someone they didn’t know. The idiots.

Here are some other reasons why I do not class myself as a tourist.

I don’t walk around in a plastic poncho with I ♥ New York on it. If it’s raining then I will use an umbrella like a normal person.

I’m a secret map user. I don’t stand in the middle of the street with a map the size of a fitted sheet. I have a carefully folded map which shows me the area I’m in and nothing else. If I need to look at it I do so discreetly.

I don’t ask a cab driver to take me to the World Trade Centre/Macy’s/the Empire State Building. If you want the driver to take the long way round, thus costing you money then this is a sure-fire way of doing that.

I do not stand in the middle of the street and take photos of oncoming traffic. Yes, that is a yellow cab; there are about 30,000 of them in this city.

I would never ever ask a policeman if I could have my photo taken with him. That’s just embarrassing.

I do not walk around the City wearing a bloody great rucksack on my back.

I would never buy a Starbucks mug or visit a TGI Fridays.

I don’t walk around with a camera around my neck. I’m from a big City and know that this just says mug me, I’m stupid.