Stupid shoppers

Tuesday May 1 is set to be a monumental day. Crowds are already forming in central London. Is Tony Blair stepping down I hear you cry. Perhaps Nelson Mandela will be addressing crowds in Trafalgar Square. No something far more important is about to happen.

Are you ready? Can you stand the tension? Wait for it…..here goes….

Kate Moss is launching her clothing line in Top Shop. Yep, that’s right a clothing range. Shoppers will be allowed to enter the hallowed turf that is Top Shop Oxford Street to purchase 5 items of Kate’s range (and it’s a bloody awful range at that – hot pants, waistcoats. Very original).

I think the world is going mad. I mean, why would you queue to buy a couple of T shirts ‘designed’ by a model with no artistic integrity. I don’t think posing for a couple of photos which appear in Vogue gives you a green light to become a fashion designer. There are people studying at art schools all over the country that would kill for an opportunity like this. Oh yeah, I forgot, Kate Moss sells. Quite why I don’t know. Apparently every woman wants a piece of Kate (not me, she’s been near scuzzy Pete Doherty). We all want to look like her and dress like her. Don’t you?

A few weeks ago people queued outside Sainsbury’s all night to buy a £5 bag. Yes, all night. And then they promptly put them on ebay for 100 quid. I have one word to describe people who willingly pay £100 for a £5 bag. Fools. Actually can I have two words? Tossers. And it turns out that the bag isn’t organic and might not have been made in an ethical factory. Hmmm. Perhaps the twats (ooh, that’s three words, sorry) might have given the money to an ethical charity instead.

And don’t even get me started on Primark (I mean, why would anyone queue for hours to buy a dress for £5). And remember the scenes when Ikea opened in North London a few years ago?

Fools the lot of em.