Things I'm not very good at

There are a few things in life that I’m not very good at. Cooking (see previous blog), swimming (I think I am going to drown if my feet can’t touch the bottom of the pool), driving (I’m just a really bad driver) and skiing – something I discovered last week.

Skiing is one of those things that everyone is meant to enjoy. You can wear cool ski gear (a la Posh Spice), engage in lots of après ski and generally have a good time riding the ski lifts.

Hmm. Where shall I start? Well, first of all I’m not very good with heights so getting on ski lifts was a bit of a problem. I did manage to use the T Bar lift which pulls you up to the top of the nursery slope (note: nursery slope – I am such a wimp). I did only fall off once (although I did almost crash into a mound of snow at the end of the T Bar on another occasion, I think I gave the instructor a bit of a fright).

I don’t have very good co-ordination either so the whole ski, turn, stop thing wasn’t really happening for me. When you stop you’re meant to turn your heels out to slow you down. I did manage to do this sometimes but occasionally my head told me to turn my feet out but my feet told me something else. This resulted in a few falls and a bruised backside. Luckily the fat on my backside prevented more damage.

Let’s face it. Strapping a pair of three feet long strips of metal/wood/whatever the hell they are made out of to your feet is not natural (yes I know the Inuit’s used them as their mode of transport). Neither is trying to use them on flat ground or up a hill. You have to walk sideways and unless you have the thigh muscles of Colin Jackson it’s gonna hurt.

It really dents your confidence when you see ten year olds whizzing past you. I kept saying that it’s because kids have no fear but it was really due to the fact that I was rubbish.

I’m sure I have painted a rather colourful picture of me and skiing but actually I quite enjoyed it. A few more lessons and I’ll be whizzing down a black run.

Oh and before I forget on our last day we read in the local newspaper that one of the gondolas (a lift that takes you right to the top of the mountain) got stuck a few months previously. Apparently skiers were left dangling for hours. Do you think it would hurt if you jumped out of a gondola? Snow can be quite cushiony.

And as for the wind rash you get because it’s so damn cold….