You put your left hand in...

I have a bit of a problem telling my left from right. So bad is this problem that when I took my driving test (about 15 years ago), I had to mark my hands with L and R signs. Thankfully the examiner didn’t notice.

I frequently send people in completely the wrong direction when they ask me where Harrods/Selfridges/Big Ben is. I mean well when I tell them the way to go but about 45 mins later I suddenly realise that I did, in fact, send them to Portobello Road/Greenwich. Oh dear.

I think this problem is deeper rooted and has to do with the fact that I have no coordination. None. Not an iota. If you want to have a laugh ask me to dance or join you in an aerobics class. It’s hilarious. I lose total control of my limbs. Hey, I can’t even use chopsticks. My boyfriend tried to teach me a few days ago. He shook his head in bewilderment as my fingers ceased to be of any use. It was like they were made of jelly. One went one way and the other, well, put it this way, it was a bit embarrassing.

I used to go to Pilates because it’s meant to help improve coordination. After about 15 classes I gave up. It didn’t improve my coordination at all. Most of the time I felt like a fool watching everyone else in the class perform the moves with ease.

I’ve never been able to do that pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time thing and I’m just about the clumsiest person in the world. If there’s a door in front of me, guaranteed I’ll walk into it and if there’s pile of dog poo on the pavement….yep, I’ll tread in it!

I know that by revealing all my traits in a blog leaves me wide open to talk of me being totally useless at just about everyything but hey, I don’t care. Have you written a blog recently? Well, have you?!